Those Crazy Cullens
by Mrs. Hale Jasper's Wife
Summary: Carlisle and Esme are at the Isle de Esme. Charlie is away on a cruise. What do the kids do while they are unsupervised? Mike wets his pants, Bella drunk and who's driving Charlie's cruiser plus much...much more. Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
1. Goodbye Parents, Hello Fun

Those Crazy Cullens

Carlisle and Esme are at the Isle de Esme. Charlie is away on a cruise. What do the kids do while they are unsupervised? Mike wets his pants, Bella drunk and who's driving Charlie's cruiser plus much...much more.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Chapter One: Good-bye Parents, Hello Fun!

Bella POV

"Wow! Bells, how did you get the money for this?" Charlie exclaimed holding up the tickets to his all-expense paid trip to Mexico, where he would be staying for a week and then going on a cruise of the Barbados.

"Well, I pitched in, so did Edward and his family. They figured you do so much, you needed a vacation" I exclaimed, only part lying. Edward and his family did pitch in. I didn't. They didn't let me put my money in. He pulled me into a huge hug and gave me a kiss on the head. "I know its short notice but your plane leaves tomorrow" Edward explained, winking at me. I blushed a bright crimson.

Charlie dashed upstairs and the sound of his closet flying open was heard from downstairs. Edward gave a small laugh. "What is it?" I asked Edward, who was still laughing. He stopped laughing and took my hand. "Love, he's worried about what we're going to do while he's gone. He's going over the worse possible thing that could happen. Right now in his head he's imagining himself coming back to find you married, pregnant and living at our house". I snorted a little bit.

When Charlie came downstairs he had a suitcase already packed. Edward nudged me and mouthed 'play along'. "So Bella, I'm sure you, Alice, Rosalie and Esme will have fun while us boys are camping" he said warmly. Charlie's face lit just a little bit. "What was that Edward?" he said, hiding a grin that was stretching on his face. "Oh, Carlisle takes me, Emmett and Jasper on a camping trip this time every year. He wants us to connect with nature and sleep under the stars" he said. I couldn't help giggling at that statement. They wouldn't be 'sleeping' under any stars. They don't even sleep.

"Oh, yeah and Alice invited me over for to keep her company while the boys are gone" I said grinning. Charlie nodded and said, "yeah, good idea. I don't like the idea of you here by yourself". I noticed that he was slightly glaring at Edward when he said 'by yourself'. "We're leaving tonight, Bella" Edward said looking apologetically into my eyes. As if on cue, my cell phone started buzzing from my pocket.

"Hello". Just as I said it, Alice's voice came over the other line. "You're staying here while the boys are _camping. _You're coming over tonight!_"_ she said in her excited voice. "Sure, that sounds like fun, I'll asked Charlie" I said. I looked over at Charlie and said, "dad, is it okay if I go over the Cullen's house tonight". Charlie nodded and said, "sure thing, kid. Have fun. Tell Esme and Alice I said 'hi'."

Edward and I walked to the drive way and started laughing. Once we were in the Volvo, Edward's foot pushed the pedal down hard. I could almost imagine the fire that was left behind from the tires. We reached the Cullen's house just in time to see Carlisle and Esme carrying their suitcases downstairs. "Oh, hi Bella. How are you dear?" Esme asked in her motherly tone. "Fine. Are you two going somewhere?" I asked looked at the very large suitcases. "Why, yes dear. Carlisle and I are going to my island, Isle de Esme. We always go on a vacation at this time of year" Esme explained. I looked at Edward and clear my throat. "Isn't it ironic that we bought Charlie a ticket to Mexico and a cruise of the Barbados at the same time your parent's decide to leave the country, too" I said to Edward in an accusing tone. Carlisle and Esme passed us and went out to the garage.

"Kids, get down here. We need to talk rules" Esme said, watching Carlisle climb into the car. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett appeared around us within seconds. All wore faces of pure innocence and purity. "Okay, the rules have changed a bit. Okay so I expect to come back to a whole house. I do not want to hear anyone was put in jail for anything. Bella is to remain in one piece. That means you, Rosalie. And Emmett, if I hear anything about you, I will take away you Wii and your PS3" Carlisle said with Esme nodding in the background. "Oh and don't forget to feed Bella. I do not want to come back to find her under fed" Esme threatened climbing into the car with her husband and with that, they were gone.

Next Chapter: Emmett has fun with Charlie's cruiser.


	2. Emmett the Cop

A/N I got this idea from a bunch of collected Fanfictions/

Chapter Two: Emmett the Cop

EmPOV

I sat up all night, just waiting for morning. The night went by slowly. My plans for tomorrow changed once Bella said that Charlie was going to Mexico. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Edward was shooting me glares. Maybe it was because I was singing 'Pump It' and 'spider-man the Theme song' over and over in my head. Edward rolled his eyes and walked upstairs, with a very tired Bella. "Night, Bells" I called after her.

Jasper looked at me with a sideways glance. "Why are you in such a funny mood?" he asked raising an eyebrow. I grinned a wide grin and said, "no reason". He gave me a suspicious look but then decided to drop it. I dashed up to my room and grabbed a few things for in the morning. I put them in my Jeep.

I had it all figured out. Charlie's plane left at six in the morning. He would have to leave around four to get through security. He would be taking the Airport bus, which left his driveway at four AM, which meant his car was free.

It was only midnight and that left me bored with nothing to do. Rosalie had gone hunting with Jasper and Alice. I wanted to stay here so I could say 'good bye' to Carlisle and Esme. Bella was sleeping and Edward was watching her sleep. Hmm, I'm going to mess with Edward.

I ran to Edward's room and stood outside the door.

_Eddie boy, I wanna play!_ I complained in my head. "Go away," he growled so low that Bella wouldn't hear. _But Eddie, I'm bored!_ I whined back. I went downstairs and sat on the sofa. There was a red journal and the coffee table. It was an empty diary. I picked it up and started writing about what I planned to do with Charlie's car.

By the time morning came around I had gone for a drive in my Jeep, knocked down some trees, went for a quick hunt, did my math homework and annoyed Edward. He was still trying to figure out what I was up to. I was now singing 'I'm too Sexy for my Shirt' in my head.

It was eight o'clock when I finally got in my Jeep and drove to Bella's house. The house was empty, just as I figured it would be. I reached in the back seat for the items I put in the Jeep last night. A police hat, handcuffs and a toy gun that would look real to any human eyes.

I walked up to the door to Bella's house and lifted the welcome mat. Sure enough, the spare key was there. I opened the door and went inside. I grinned evilly as I walked through the house to the kitchen. I looked around until I found what I was looking for. A fish shaped, key holder with a set of car keys and a fish shaped key chain. Boy, Charlie really did love his fish. I took the keys and put them in my pocket. I placed the police cap on.

A brilliant idea hit me like a brick. I went upstairs to Charlie's room and to his closet. I grabbed a police uniform and put it on. I hooked my handcuff to the belt, along with the fake gun, fake pepper spray and Charlie's Billy Club. I dashed downstairs at vampire speed until I reached to door.

I stepped outside, whistling loudly and swinging the Billy Club in my hand. A woman next door called over the fence, "good morning, Charlie". I grinned and called back over, "good morning to you too". I took the keys from the pocket and unlocked to door to the cruiser. "Yes!" I exclaimed as I climbed into the cruiser.

I put the keys into the ignition and listened as the car purred to life. I drove out of the driveway and sped down the road. I grinned my huge grin as I sped towards my destination. My first arrest was Mike Newton.

I turned the sirens on and sped towards Mike's house. `Bad boys' was playing through my head as I got closer and closer. People were peaking out there windows, hoping to get a peak at the action.

When I arrived to Mike's house I sped into the empty driveway and grabbed the radio hand piece. I turned the loud speaker on and announced, "Mike Newton, this is the police! We have you surrounded. Please step outside with your hands over your head!" I shouted. I heard him mutter, "oh shoot!"

Mike POV

I was sitting on my bed, watching Bugs Bunny and Tweety when the sound of police sirens echoed up the road. How odd. No one ever got into trouble in Forks. Hearing the police sirens was a rare occurrence. It wasn't until I heard the sound of the police car speeding into my driveway. Oh my god! They know! I exclaimed, panic now flowing through me. Maybe they aren't here for me. I thought to myself.

"Mike Newton, this is the police! We have you surrounded. Please step out with you hands over your head!" the loud voice demanded. "Oh shoot!" I'm a dead man! I thought to myself. I shouldn't have done it. Why did I let my hormones get the better of me?

I'm going to have to confess the climbing into the windows of girls houses while they weren't there and smelling the pillows and dirty clothes from their rooms. I thought I hadn't been caught, but sure enough the police were here.

I made myself downstairs shaking. I was shaking so hard, it seemed like their was an earthquake. It was like the ground was shaking beneath me. As I stepped outside the cop car backed out of the driveway and sped off towards the highway. A loud crash of a garbage tin hitting the ground startled me. I felt something wet and warm running down my legs. _Oh great_, I thought rolling my eyes, _That's the third time this week. I hate my weak bladder!_


End file.
